The year ended much as it began, with construction outside my dorm window waking me every morning the same way tanks rolling through the university would. Leaping out of bed in terror expecting Nazis to march into the room was almost nostalgic. Then, as with the start of the year, there was a crazy scramble to move my stuff through the dorms while talking with people on the fly, except that this time, instead of greeting them, I was parting with them. Through the typical haste of moving out, I somehow neglected to bid goodbye to most of my friends. It felt a little cold hearted leaving them without a word, but I’m sure they were in the same position. Either way, I’m back home now and it is…
Boring.
Why was I getting excited to come back to this dead end town? There’s no career opportunity here, almost no one my age, and the nearest city is about a thirty minute drive away. Oh, and that city, New Bedford, is just as (un)interesting as this place. I remembered all of this as I crossed the town line and reflexively wanted to head back to school.
Well, looks like a quiet summer. Again. Am I ever going to break this loop?
I’m home again and I’ve noticed that, while wooden doors and floors were cold to the touch in the winter and something I avoided, with the coming of summer they’re pleasantly cool. Everything has that exact summer feel that I know so well. The sounds are as crisp and clear as before, birds twitter, leaf blowers groan, biplanes hum, and the pine needles in the trees rustle with the breeze. It’s all too familiar and yet slightly foreign. I didn’t really get this experience last year because I was only home for a month or so before I went off to school again. Now I have four months of this? It’s a little… daunting.
Believe it or not, I start to go a crazy with too much R&R. I need academic or creative work. My landscaping and odd-jobs schtick pays well enough, but it doesn’t challenge the mind. Worse yet, there’s no one to socialize with. I work alone and burn through music and audiobooks like no tomorrow to compensate. Still, I did need to get away from UMass for a bit and for now home is soothing. One of my favorite things in this world is coming home to our garden and seeing everything leafing out and blooming. It’s essentially summer now (don’t pay attention to the calendar, it’s 70 degrees out there) so the riot of color from a few weeks ago is mostly past. Now the mature subtlety of summer’s greens rules, punctuated by white and pink flowers around the yard.
Sometimes when I have a spare moment and am tired of reading or can’t think of anything to write, I like to stare into the woods around our house. I’m almost twenty years old and I still marvel at the complex mottling and shading of greens and browns that summer brings. The ostentatious colors make spring everyone else’s favorite. All quiet complexity is overshadowed by that riot of flowers. In the summer, there is nothing to distract from it. It’s easy to find peace while watching the wind pass through the trees as it turns the leaves and grass, exposing their lighter underbellies in a ripple of shifting color like the wind flutters over water. The forest provides better meditation than any mantra or quiet room could.
It is also easy to become complacent and loose myself in that hypnotizing shifting. Instead of reading or furthering my writing ambitions, I sometimes find that all of my vacation and free moments have been spent staring at plants. Considering how I commit to a regular work week and want to spend time with friends, budgeting my free time is imperative. Even though it feels like I’m missing the opportunity to enjoy beautiful weather, sometimes I need to sequester myself indoors to actually get anything done. Then again, now that I’m home, it’s wonderful to waste some of that time meeting up with friends, chatting about school, and geeking out. There’s nothing quite like meeting with an old friend and discussing the respective merits of a Jedi Guardian versus a Consular while watching The Empire Strikes Back. If anything, that is one reason I can always look forward to in this dead end town.
Oh, also my mother brought home a new kitten who is currently climbing up my chest and onto my shoulders. While it’s adorable, the fuzzy face that keeps nuzzling into mine and the tail that keeps waggling in my eyes makes it a bit hard to concentrate or read or, well, do anything. Still, it’s a kitten. Enough said. Good night and sleep well! Dream of the promises and possibilities of summer!
Song of the Week: Since “My Little Town” by Simon and Garfunkel is a little too depressing for this week and I have nothing aside from Weird Al that can properly reflect this week, here’s something that’s been playing on repeat in my head for almost a month now. Hope you enjoy punk rock!
Boring.
Why was I getting excited to come back to this dead end town? There’s no career opportunity here, almost no one my age, and the nearest city is about a thirty minute drive away. Oh, and that city, New Bedford, is just as (un)interesting as this place. I remembered all of this as I crossed the town line and reflexively wanted to head back to school.
Well, looks like a quiet summer. Again. Am I ever going to break this loop?
I’m home again and I’ve noticed that, while wooden doors and floors were cold to the touch in the winter and something I avoided, with the coming of summer they’re pleasantly cool. Everything has that exact summer feel that I know so well. The sounds are as crisp and clear as before, birds twitter, leaf blowers groan, biplanes hum, and the pine needles in the trees rustle with the breeze. It’s all too familiar and yet slightly foreign. I didn’t really get this experience last year because I was only home for a month or so before I went off to school again. Now I have four months of this? It’s a little… daunting.
Believe it or not, I start to go a crazy with too much R&R. I need academic or creative work. My landscaping and odd-jobs schtick pays well enough, but it doesn’t challenge the mind. Worse yet, there’s no one to socialize with. I work alone and burn through music and audiobooks like no tomorrow to compensate. Still, I did need to get away from UMass for a bit and for now home is soothing. One of my favorite things in this world is coming home to our garden and seeing everything leafing out and blooming. It’s essentially summer now (don’t pay attention to the calendar, it’s 70 degrees out there) so the riot of color from a few weeks ago is mostly past. Now the mature subtlety of summer’s greens rules, punctuated by white and pink flowers around the yard.
Sometimes when I have a spare moment and am tired of reading or can’t think of anything to write, I like to stare into the woods around our house. I’m almost twenty years old and I still marvel at the complex mottling and shading of greens and browns that summer brings. The ostentatious colors make spring everyone else’s favorite. All quiet complexity is overshadowed by that riot of flowers. In the summer, there is nothing to distract from it. It’s easy to find peace while watching the wind pass through the trees as it turns the leaves and grass, exposing their lighter underbellies in a ripple of shifting color like the wind flutters over water. The forest provides better meditation than any mantra or quiet room could.
It is also easy to become complacent and loose myself in that hypnotizing shifting. Instead of reading or furthering my writing ambitions, I sometimes find that all of my vacation and free moments have been spent staring at plants. Considering how I commit to a regular work week and want to spend time with friends, budgeting my free time is imperative. Even though it feels like I’m missing the opportunity to enjoy beautiful weather, sometimes I need to sequester myself indoors to actually get anything done. Then again, now that I’m home, it’s wonderful to waste some of that time meeting up with friends, chatting about school, and geeking out. There’s nothing quite like meeting with an old friend and discussing the respective merits of a Jedi Guardian versus a Consular while watching The Empire Strikes Back. If anything, that is one reason I can always look forward to in this dead end town.
Oh, also my mother brought home a new kitten who is currently climbing up my chest and onto my shoulders. While it’s adorable, the fuzzy face that keeps nuzzling into mine and the tail that keeps waggling in my eyes makes it a bit hard to concentrate or read or, well, do anything. Still, it’s a kitten. Enough said. Good night and sleep well! Dream of the promises and possibilities of summer!
Song of the Week: Since “My Little Town” by Simon and Garfunkel is a little too depressing for this week and I have nothing aside from Weird Al that can properly reflect this week, here’s something that’s been playing on repeat in my head for almost a month now. Hope you enjoy punk rock!
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