Ready To Blow This Taco Stand

    Classes ended yesterday. For some time I didn’t want the year to end. I always wish I’d done more socializing or whatever, but I was more than ready to be done with the essays and exams. As with the end of every year though, it seems that everyone is trying to make up for lost time. Bunches of students are having last minute blowout parties and dozens more are kicking off new relationships, despite throwing themselves at the mercy of a long distance, and I’m no exception.
    A girl who I thought I’d never see again reappeared in class on Monday. We did our usual chatty-jokey thing and at the end I said “So if you’re not going straight to a well deserved nap, let me treat you to dinner.”
    Her mood switched from chipper to awkward and apologetic. “Um, I actually just broke up with my boyfriend of five years so…”
    “Wasn’t thinkin’ of that.” I was totally thinkin’ of that.
    “Oh!” She seemed surprised. I guess I’ve got a good poker face. “Oh, well, okay. Coffee some time then!”
    “Cool! Sounds good.” I escaped the room as quickly as dignity would allow. Then, once out of sight, I got onto my bike, told dignity to go die in a hole, and took off as fast as possible.
    To be honest, I should have been depressed, especially since my leg was killing me and I was sleep deprived, but I felt unreasonably happy! I think I was just glad that I’d had the cojones  to ask her out, even if I did pretend that wasn’t my intent. Perhaps this primed me for Friday when I randomly started chatting with a girl in another class whom I’d never really spoken to before. I got the feeling that we’d clicked so, taking twenty seconds of insane, stupid bravery, I asked for her number. I got it too. That night when my ex, Erica, came to do homework with me I told her the good news and we started celebrating and flipping out like the two spastic artists that we are. While I took a moment to text the girl, Erica started making plans for how we could get her over here such as inviting her to the party on Saturday and the bonfire on Monday and-
    “Sorry if I’m totally off here,” the girl texted back, “but I’m seeing someone pretty seriously right now. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression today!”

    Mood killer.

    I figured we’d be friends anyhow and still invited her and her boyfriend to the bonfire. I never got a reply.
    After twenty minutes of disconsolate studying (don’t ask me why this rejection depressed me, but the other didn’t) with little more than twenty words written, I decided that I needed comfort food and resolved to get a quesadilla under the stipulation that Erica eat half, which she agreed to by booting me out the door shouting at me to hurry up.
    I must have been in a pretty funky mood when I got to the café because, once I ordered my food, I walked right up to a gorgeous girl who lives in my dorm that I’m normally too terrified to speak to. Perhaps between two rejections in a week and working on a stats project my brain must’ve overloaded and shut off non-vital functions like inhibitions. Conversation came easy and we chatted until the chef rescued her by producing my meal. Then, wouldn’t you know it, the manager of the smoothie café outside of the gym appeared! I suppose that since I get a smoothie there every day and always try to hold conversation with whoever’s serving me, the manager took a liking to me. I guess friendliness pays off because, as I was fetching my food, she gave me my favorite smoothie for free! Frown turned upside-down, I returned to my studies, soon after which Erica’s boyfriend appeared. We teamed up to make Erica squirm with bad innuendos and startled her four times badly enough to make her scream. This is what happens when you make the mistake of making me happy. Teehee.

    It’s because of these moments that I miss school. The summer is boring as all hell for me, consisting mostly of my job, solitary beach visits, and reading. The stress of classes more than justifies the adventure during the academic year. Besides, I like academia. Even if I didn’t, I’d miss the random stuff that happens at schools. The other day I saw a girl in the gym trying to talk on the phone while doing sit-ups. It would have been sad if she wasn’t hot and it was ridiculous nonetheless. Also, I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t get a guy dressed as the Red Power Ranger popping up around my town like I see here at UMass. Heck, he even waltzed into my film class at Amherst College! I swear he’s following me. On the other hand, if you do get that sort of stuff in your home town, please tell me. I want to move there. It doesn’t help the leaving either that one of my closest friends here is transferring to another school in the Fall. This is the last week I’ll see her and I’d like that week to last at least another month or two.
    Then again, I’ve got a lot to look forward to. Today I went to a meet and greet for the artsy residential hall I signed up to live in next year. I had expected a bunch of people and not even a dozen appeared. I tried talking to a girl I was acquainted with, since she was the only person I knew there, and hoped she would introduce me to her friends. She ignored me. Great start, I thought. See if I ever invite you to another party. I then tried talking to a painfully antisocial philosophy major and a linguistics major who wasn’t even in the residential program and had just wandered in. Desperate, I jumped over to three people who looked a bit older, but were having a good laugh which encouraged me to join them. Turns out they were RAs and a junior RD. Even so, I spent the rest of my time talking to one of them (also named Matt, wouldn’t you know it?) who seemed like a fantastic guy. I was disappointed to discover that he was graduating, as I would’ve loved to have him in my building next year. He reassured me that the other RAs were friends of his though, so that was encouraging as was one of the hall directors who, aside from being friendly and enthusiastic, frequently schedules open mic nights, which I love to help run and I said as much. About halfway through the conversation Matt said that I had an “engaging personality” and that should apply to be an RA. “You’d probably get the job.” Oh the irony…
    There were no other students present and as I began to depart I wondered how dismal the program would be next year. As I reached the door a friend of mine walked in. I’d totally forgotten that she would be in the program too! Two others from my building who I was friendly with trailed behind her and all greeted me warmly. I would have stayed to chat if not for an appointment. While exiting, I remembered that, despite those who weren’t too friendly and how a fantastic person was leaving before I really got to know him, I’d at least have these three. Also there are almost certain to be others more outgoing who had not attended the gathering. I’d only seen a sixth of the program’s participants. Even if I am dealing with a three to twelve ratio of friendly people to snobs and anti-socialites, I’ll still be in fantastic company.
    Thus I’ve decided that, even with all of the sad and the glad stuff, I’m ready to get out of here. I’m pretty done with the people in my dorm and I’m tired. Mentally and emotionally, I’m worn. While I’m not looking forward to starting my summer job exactly, I’m more than ready to get out of here and start again somewhere new next year.









Song of the Week: This is one that’s been running through my head on repeat for the last week or so. I’ve awoken singing it, my iPod’s shuffle seems to favor it, and it always makes me want to dance and sing. Maybe you’ll like it to.

“My Blue Heaven” - Taking Back Sunday